CME – Movie #17 – Christmas Every Day

November 26, 2016

With a title like that I smell Groundhog Day style shenanigans!

This is a 20 year old “gem” from ABC Family. Grumpy teen hates Christmas.’ This is before the era of HD so it’s 4:3 aspect ratio and BLURRY AS ALL GOOGLY!

Through the blur I’m able to see that when the new day dawns we focus on a RADIO… It’s 7am… It’s not playing “I Got You Babe” though…

Douche relatives show up. Hang on, am I watching Krampus again???

Relative is a developer, planning to bring a mall to destroy their small town. This is the source of much consternation.

Stuff occurs. A contest to count the number of jelly beans. A nativity play. On Christmas Day?

Film then commits the CARDINAL SIN! THE ONE UNFORGIVABLE SIN I WILL NOT LET GO! Oldest teen, after having a bad day, goes off on a tirade about how Santa isn’t real. Not just a throwaway line but an entire rant about how the big guy isn’t real. THIS IS A MOVIE THAT AIRED ON ABC FAMILY FOR GODS SAKE!

Dear Christmas movie producers who think this is acceptable… YOU ARE BASTARDS! Why even risk ruining the magic for kids when the world is a god awful, hideous place? There is absolutely ZERO reason to include this in ANY Christmas movie, and from now on any movie I review that does this gets a -2 modifier to its score.

After hurriedly trying to mute the TV, the scene ends with the baby sister wishing it was Christmas every day, and her convincing the brother to wish it too.

Groundhog Day ensues. Only instead of Bill Murray you’ve got a petulant jackass teen who frankly you develop no empathy of any kind for. He’s a jerk. May he be stuck in Christmas Hell for eternity.

Through repeated days the jerk sees the error of his ways. What I can’t get past is HOW BUSY THE TOWN IS on Christmas Day. I don’t know about you but my town, and I live in a big city, is DEAD on Christmas Day. In fact it’s the way I wish my town was EVERY DAY.

The final half hour is tolerable but the Santa thing is just unforgivable and it must be paid for.

2 out of 5 Jingle Bells.

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